Indirectly Attentive

I submitted this for an assignment in a Learning Fundamentals class that I am taking. Sounded "me" enough to put it up here, too.

bubububububangarang.

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The more I consider the style with which I direct and focus my attention, the more clear I see that this style depends entirely on whatever task I am performing. When I drive around the lake near my house, my attention is focused on staying between the lines of the road and maintaining a speed that will not attract the attention of the authority. When I take the bus, my attention is directed towards the patterns of waves in the water, or the scope of colors and how they interact. I often strive to see the big picture, but I do this by seeing how each small part works together. Imagining how one small particle or piece of what I see affects everything surrounding it greatly amuses me, and I tend to find myself wondering how the world would be different without the seemingly insignificant piece of the picture. Learning or discussing information with other people can be dangerous, as I have the tendency to believe that I know at least some truth behind all things, so I constantly have to take time to consider how the knowledge that I have came to me. One of my favorite things to practice, as I go about my day, is "throwing away" the beliefs or preconceived ideas that I have about the world around me. In this way, I am able to begin taking in information with a fresh mind, or an "empty canvas." Often I imagine myself as a small child again, and this enables me to learn about the world around me without the spectrum of words and labels that society has attatched to the perception of nature. This week's lesson has helped me to understand how integral my imagination has become to my own learning process, and I am very thankful for that.

My attention is constantly wandering. This makes it difficult to have a consistent conversation with anyone, whether it be because I am unable to stay on topic or because my attention has led me away from that person entirely (though all they see is me nodding and seemingly quite interested). For this reason, I am unable to have conversations with people based on topics that do not interest me. Upon learning this about myself, I have also learned that I have never once regretted maintaining silence while others around me share ideas. After many years of speaking out on things that I do not know, I have learned that it is always better to acknowledge what I do not know, and then to begin from there with an open mind.

"gimme some sugar, baby."